


Orange Juice

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Series: The Girl Started Dying, It's Fine [10]
Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Melanie Martinez Song, Bathtubs, Break Up, Bubble Bath, Eating Disorders, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Happy Ending, Heartache, Heartbreaking, Implied Relationships, Inspired by Melanie Martinez, Love, Love/Hate, Melanie Martinez References, Moving On, Past Relationship(s), Platonic Relationships, Post-Break Up, Restaurants, Romance, Sad with a Happy Ending, Social Media, Song: Orange Juice (Melanie Martinez), Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:01:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25954909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: After horrific break-up to the love of Yuqi's life, Miyeon, Yuqi lives on a mostly nothing-at-all diet  in a mission to better herself and make herself less ugly as she deals with heartbreak over Miyeon and wanting to tear herself to shreds. There is a happy ending, a very happy ending
Relationships: Cho Miyeon/Song Yuqi, Song Yuqi/Yeh Shuhua
Series: The Girl Started Dying, It's Fine [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1844320
Kudos: 7





	Orange Juice

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Second work of the evening - I promise you, it does have a happy ending, and, there's no graphic descriptions of the actual practicing of eating disorder behavior, anorexia, bulimia, etc, etc. I do hope ypu enjoy it. Goodnight :) (I'm writing this at five minutes past midnight, bear with me)

Yuqi couldn't eat anything. She could do anything else, nearly, but, she just couldn't it.

She managed a fruit juice that her best friend Shuhua's Dad made - a concotion of strawberry, watermelon and apple - green tea, orange juice, hot lemon water, sparkling water - the bubbly kind - and, if she was really forced to, tiny amounts of salad, rice, potatoe, and, miniscule amounts of chocolate to put sugar into her bloodstream and stop her passing out and hitting her head on the doorframe to Shuhua's office in their shared apartment like she had a few mornings ago when she hadn't eaten or drunk anything until four 'o' clock into the afternoon. 

She had lost about three kilograms, last time she checked.

Now, even thought things were much the same, she didn't want to climb back on and check.

Her body felt sick.

Her body felt hurt.

Everything felt hurt.

Her girlfriend Miyeon had dumped her for no reason at all.

It had broken Yuqi's heart.

It all consumed all of her being; every single synapse. So conciously aware was she of everything around her - the oxygen she breathed in, how hideous she looked when she looked in the mirror, so incredibly horrific enough that it could make the glass crack; how lacking she was of every quality, how appalling it must have been for Miyeon to be seen with this disgusting lifeform of nature beside her.

And, to Yuqi's worst fear and worst emotion, even though she lost weight, it looked like she had put on ten kilograms rather than losing three.

She just drank copious amounts of the strawberry, watermelon and apple juice Shuhua's Father's made and sent in bottles in a crate to their apartment, green tea, orange juice, hot lemon water, and sparkling mineral water. 

"Hello, darlin'." Shuhua's Dad smiled as Yuqi came in with his daughter into the cafe he ran with his wife's and Shuhua's Mother's dressmaking business in the shop next door. "What can I get my girls?"

Shuhua babbled off orders in her and her Father's native Taiwanese-Mandarin, and, something glowed warm inside of Yuqi as getting referred to so kindly by Shuhua's Dad.

Perhaps, in a way that was terrifying, Shuhua had picked up on Yuqi not eating, so, when Shuhua's Dad was astounded at why and how Yuqi wouldn't like any of his beautiful fruit salad and ice cream, Shuhua insisted that Yuqi had gorged herself at breakfast.

"I'll have a heap, Dad." She had grinned up at him and he went off to get her her favourite set of ceramic bowls and mugs - a very delicate light pink, almost just cream - and, he instead decided that he'd make himself a coffee, too.

Yuqi didn't want to hurt Shuhua's Father's feelings.

"May I have a latte too, please?" She asked. Shuhua's Dad winked at her and got Yuqi out her favourite mug, a white ceramic mug covered in pink, yellow, orange, blue, and grey spots with - somehow - enough room for little elephants with grey bodies, pink inner-ears, and, sweet little demeanours.

Yuqi knew she would be in a much worse state if she was living by herself.

Shuhua did wonders for her.

But, there was something about in it that was never enough.

Sometimes, it was too much.

Yuqi loathed Shuhua's company, wanted her gone, wanted her dead.

Yuqi wanted to peel the skin off of her face.

She wanted to peel the weight off of her bones.

She wanted to change, oh so completely.

And, even though she worked as hard as she could, nothing seemed to change.

It had it's own identity and put it's hand around her throat, squeezing down, Yuqi letting it do so. She felt she deserved it, creatures like her deserved to be handled like that...

But she wanted to stop feeling like this.

She wanted to stop wanting to peel the skin off of her face.

But why don't I change?! Thoughts screamed themselves inside of Yuqi's head as she took sight of her being and it's nudity in the mirror above the vanity as she climbed out of the shower.

Water drops from the shower slid down over her paled, blotchy skin, and, Yuqi saw her own pupils blown wide.

Her lip curled and she turned away.

Always the same...

Always the fucking same...

You're so disgusting, the thoughts swirled even more inside of Yuqi's head.

She didn't want to die. No, she didn't want to die.

She just wanted to change, but, it was so hard to do it, there was so much work.\par  
It would be easier if she wasn't so weak.

But, that's all she was.

Weak.

And, away from her body, her weakness was proved by still loving Miyeon even though Miyeon had treated her like shit.

How tragic and human was that?

It went on for months.

Yuqi really did lose weight, but, it was never quite right, never how she wanted it.

She was okay enough so Shuhua didn't worry, but, fuck Shuhua. Shuhua had no idea about it all...

Yuqi had been sitting in the kitchen when she had seen her phone beep; it had just been an Instagram alert.

What she had seen had made her insides turn over deadly and silent and heavy.

Miyeon...in a white...

She had gotten married.

Even after all those months and the horrible break-up, Yuqi had never un-followed Miyeon's account on Instagram.

Married...

Tears poured down from Yuqi's face and down to her cheeks while blood came from her nose and dripped over her lips to her chin and then to the neckline and chest of her cream cotton-jersey top with the black peter-pan collar that Shuhua had found in a shop for her a couple of Yuletide's ago when she was a whale...

She still was a whale.

That's why Miyeon left her and married someone else.

Yuqi's eyes drank in the sight of Miyeon's beautiful face and body in her wedding dress.

"YUQI!" Shuhua's voice shrieked.

Shuhua had just come home from her job as a secretary in a law firm to find her best friend sitting at the kitchen table in her skinny black jeans and the peter-pan neck-line top with blood covering her thickly and darkly everywhere, and, her strangely unconcious but intent expression staring down at her phone.

"Babe got married." Yuqi held up her phone. Shuhua rushed across, and, looked at the phone.

She shook her head wildly and started chattering on in a near manic state. "No, no, no, no, no, fuck her, fuck her, fuck the bitch, come on, come with me, you need to get in the bath...hot water, relax...oh my God, it's cold water, right, to get blood out of clothes? Oh my God...oh my God...I'm calling Mum...she'll know...it's a Mum thing..."

A couple of minutes later, Yuqi lay stretched out in a hot bubble-bath, the bubbles a thick covering over her, and, if she lifted one of her arms and legs above the surface of the water, it looked like she had a curiously textured white coat on. Yuqi could hear Shuhua very, very disantly whisper-yelling over the phone to their friends Soyeon, Soojin and Minnie while the washing machine cleaned Yuqi's blood-covered clothes.

Judging by Shuhua's near-silent reactions, it appeared that Soyeon, Soojin and Minnie had no idea about anything that was going on with Miyeon.

Yuqi looked up to the ceiling of the bathroom, her wet trendles of hair glued to her warm and wet skin.

I would have caught that fucking bouquet, you bitch, jsut to ruin your fucking day, Yuqi thought about Miyeon and her wedding before bursting out into a grin. Oh, fucking yes, I'd have caught that bouquet and then have let a dog take a wee on it, maybe stuff the flowers afterwards in your Rolls Royce wedding car and blow up the £100,000 vehicle. How'd you like that?

Yuqi had never been able to move on. And, even with this information, she still loved Miyeon, still needed her, still wanted her, still thought she was the msot beautiful thing she had ever seen.

But Miyeon didn't give a fuck about her.

So, now, it was time for Yuqi to find someone who didn't give a fuck about Miyeon.

"Yuqi?" Shuhua knocked on the bathroom door. "I won't come in 'cause I know you're in the nuddy-pants, but, which knickers set do you want since your others are in the wash? The navy ones with the little white love-hearts and white lace, the grey silk and lacy ones, or, the black cotton ones?"

"NAVY WITH LITTLE WHITE LOVE-HEARTS AND WHITE LACE!" Yuqi yelled out her reply before giggling. "LET'S HAVE SOME FUN - I OWN NICER THINGS THAN THAT BITCH!"

Shuhua whooped. "Yeah, that's my girl!" She clapped her hands together. "I made some of Dad's fruit salad; I'll get the ice cream out when you get out of the bath so it doesn't make a disgusting mess."

Yuqi smiled a little bit. Yes. She could eat some of Shuhua's Dad's ice cream and fruit salad.

Half an hour later, Yuqi and Shuhua sat outside on their verandah-like balcony with pint-glasses full of strawberry, watermelon and apple juice with their bowls of ice cream and fruit salad, looking over the cherry blossom covered trees and the towering, ancient elm trees with a MAYE record playing on the gramophone that had been a flea-market find, a original British-made one from the 1960's.

Everything was alright. Everything was quite alright.


End file.
